Why would God conceal his ultimate reason for allowing the existence of evil in the world? He could have revealed to us the reason for us not to look for its explanation. This question may seem absurd for some nonetheless, it allows us to decipher the mystery that is hidden in our life, it cultivates our awareness and instill in our consciousness that everything in fact invites us to ask “why”. When we cannot anymore find its explanation, it completes our desire to know by an ascent of faith; it tells as that everything could not be understood by the mind, sometimes we need to use our heart too.
The language of the soul has two dialects; the language of the head and the language of the heart. These two distinct dialects explain the different ramifications in man’s capacity to think and to deliberate. Fundamental as they are, requires a balance for they are like two sides of the same coin. The heart has its own reason that mind could not understand. Varilyn Vos Savant said, “If your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another, before you do anything, you should first decide whether you have a better heart or a better head.” In our daily life, myriads of questions, that seek for an answer, confront us and sometimes test our abilities, purifies our intentions, strengthen our character and unfolds our obedience.
Allowing myself to be form to become a priest is not the answer of the mind to the question; why am I here?, but it is an answer of the heart. In fact, I have so many questions that continuously reverberating in my consciousness that my mind fails to offer an answer. I also ask myself, why do I inquire?, is it because I am seeking to understand or I just want merely to manipulate my pride? This leads me the realization that following the Lord entails a lot of sacrifice and an act of surrender. A surrender that sometimes it hurts my ego, it hurts my own feelings and sometimes defies my principles in life. This act of surrender is but my willingness to obey and be docile to whatever is asked of my superior and mentors. I should always remember that in my life as a seminarian my obedience is always being asked of me. An obedience that counts no return. I may not understand everything but it gives me the meaning that life will always be a mystery. Behind mysteries are the assurance that I am on my right way to cultivate my obedience beyond questioning, hence develop my character. Albert Einstein said, “Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong; it is character.